What to expect

Start of the session

• There is space to talk about what you’d like to explore in our session, and if needed, I’ll support you in clarifying what you’d like to get out of it.

• Sometimes you might decide to just go in and see what arises by itself.

• There is time for you to ask questions and to go over the process if needed.

• We will decide on the amount of time we will use for your process.

Authority of the body

• You are in the lead. You are the expert on your experience and your own process.

• We don’t go anywhere you don’t want to go; we honor your own sense of rightness.

• We trust and listen to bodily impulses and knowing, meaning that if you need to change posture, open your eyes, move, or stop the process, for example, you can take that space.

• I can sometimes offer suggestions or reflections. If I say something that doesn’t feel like it fits with your inner experience or makes you go into thoughts, then you can just drop what I said and stay with your inner experience, or you can let me know. But please always feel free to drop my suggestions. I trust you to feel what feels fitting.

Slowing down and being in presence

• Part of Focusing is to slow down and become aware of what is inside. I will lead you into a state of calm presence at the beginning of the process.

• This will be the foundation for you to be with what arises.

• Some sessions might have more ‘shifts’ or ‘forward movement’(aha moments, epiphanies, keys, insights) than others. Trust that things will come in their own time.

Valuing the unclear

• When things seem unclear or fuzzy, we are actually onto something.

• The place where it is hard to find the right words might be exactly where we come into contact with something bigger and yet undefined, something that feels important or meaningful. That’s where we try to hang out for a while.

• We keep it company and use words to ‘approach’ the felt sense. We check back in on whether the words we chose actually fit.

• Things might arise in different forms: as a body sensation, an image, a gesture or movement, or as more of an emotional quality.

What to do when I reflect back

• When you find words to describe what you’re feeling, I’ll reflect them back to you, so you can sense whether those words truly resonate. Do they fit your experience? Or not quite. Pay close attention to that; that is the heart of Focusing. 

• If they don’t fit, what would fit better? Can you find new words to say how it is now?

• Keep sensing back into how things are for you.

What to do when I offer a suggestion

• I’ll be offering suggestions about what you might do, but the direction, content, and pace of the session are under your control. For instance, I might ask you: “How is it to stay with that?” or “Can you sense what this part that says …, needs?” to help you deepen the connection.

• Check inside to see if my suggestion invites your curiosity.

• If it doesn’t fit, let me know. This is a point where you are in touch with what is right for you. That inner trust and listening are what we are trying to cultivate.

• If it does feel right, see if you can internally follow my suggestion, which is usually about developing an inner relationship with what is there.

• You can ask for more suggestions, or more quiet time.

Critical parts

• We try and hold everything in a friendly and non-judgmental way, with warmth and curiosity.

• Occasionally, other parts of you might surface—critical voices, shame, or judgments—that make it hard to stay with the initial feeling. It is helpful to share that with me so we can give that some gentle attention.

• Sometimes a judgmental or an afraid part wants your attention first, before we can work with deeper parts. 

• Difficult emotions or images can be doorways to a deeper understanding. Though we can only go as far as our feelings of safety and presence permit. You choose if and how you want to be with what comes up.

Confidentiality

• You can be as private or as open as you want to be. I don’t need to know the exact background of your session. However, some details might be helpful for me to keep track of your process.

• What you share is strictly confidential and won’t be shared outside the session. I do hold the possibility of sharing parts of the session, without mentioning your name, with my supervisor. This is a psychotherapist who treats all the contents of our meeting as confidential.

How we end

• I will give you time signals before the end (around 5 and 2 minutes) to give us some time to softly land the process. I will give some suggestions on how to end it.

• We can take some time for reflection and sharing after the process. What feels different now?

• Be aware of what is still ongoing or incomplete. You may need to give special care to what feels vulnerable.

After the session

• You might want to write down what was important from the session, to help you remember or connect things over the course of a few sessions.

• Depending on how you feel, you may not want to talk about your session to others right away.

• Sometimes things may be ongoing and may need you to come back to it another time.